Well, well, well, this week we’ve seen dear old President Trump indicted. But don’t you worry, folks, the powers that be have made sure that none of the usual suspects are in trouble. Nope, not Hillary Clinton, not Hunter Biden, not Dr. Anthony Fauci, and definitely not anyone on Jeffrey Epstein’s client list. Phew, what a relief!
Hillary Clinton: The Queen of Email Mishandling
Let’s start with Hillary Clinton, shall we? The woman who managed to mishandle classified information on her private email server, and even destroyed some of the evidence to cover her tracks. But hey, who among us hasn’t accidentally used the wrong email address to send confidential messages, right? And the fact that she got away with it despite the FBI’s investigation – that’s just a testament to her royal status. Long live the queen!
Hunter Biden: The Innocent Son of a Vice President
Next up, we have Hunter Biden, the son of the beloved Joe Biden, former Vice President and current leader of the free world. Hunter, who conveniently landed a lucrative job on the board of a Ukrainian energy company while his father was in office, is clearly just an innocent victim of circumstance. And the whole laptop scandal with all those questionable pictures and messages – that’s just a work of fiction, I’m sure. Hunter is a good boy, who just happens to have a knack for getting into trouble. But hey, at least he’s not as bad as his father’s political rival, right?
Dr. Anthony Fauci: The Adaptive Scientist
Ah, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the face of the pandemic response who has flip-flopped on masks, vaccines, and pretty much everything else. But don’t worry, folks, he’s not a liar, he’s just adapting to new information, even if it contradicts what he said before. I mean, who needs consistency when you have a title like “Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases”, right? And the fact that he’s been in that position for over three decades, no matter which party is in power – that’s just a testament to his expertise. He’s like a chameleon, but instead of changing colours, he changes his opinions. Impressive, isn’t it?
Jeffrey Epstein: The Mysterious Millionaire
Last but not least, we have the infamous Jeffrey Epstein, the millionaire who liked to surround himself with powerful and wealthy individuals, including some prominent politicians, businessmen, and celebrities. But fear not, dear reader, because those names will never see the light of day. Epstein himself may have died in prison under mysterious circumstances, but that’s just a coincidence, right?
It’s clear that the only person who deserves to be held accountable for anything is Donald J. Trump, the ultimate villain of this twisted tale. Because when you’re the President of the United States, you’re not allowed to make mistakes or have flaws. You’re not allowed to have enemies, or even opinions that differ from the mainstream narrative. No, you must be perfect, or else face the consequences. And that’s why we love politics, folks – the endless drama, the never-ending hypocrisy, the sheer absurdity of it all.